A good rule of thumb is to start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes during dialogue.

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(10-14-2023, 12:36 PM)Toaster Wrote: A good rule of thumb is to start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes during dialogue.

Hmm, ok, yeah, I can do that, thanks!

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Current chapter, Lost in the wind:

large see through contained attached to the top

I assume you meant containers, right?

monitor on, but not was on it, he tried - i think there's a missing word there

Nothing else major I could spot. The paragraphs certainly help, much better read this time. It's still bit rough around the edges stylistically, but that's a matter of time and experience really.

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Oh damn, I need to check my writing before hitting "submit", errors should be fixed!
And yeah, well, I am attempting to improve as I write, it's become a daily ritual for me to write for this story, I have ideas and plots I'd like to put into writing, we'll see what happens.
But I do have the ship in the game ready so. Will have to log on and see if some nice RP can be done and not just roleplay the character in stories.

Thank you again for your feedback, it is highly appreciated.

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You're welcome, glad to be of assistance. Also, I'm writing again, one chapter is there already - I'm flying the ship actively and incorporating the RP in the story if I can.

By the way, it's a bit of a shameless promo, but since the ship in the story is basicaly a freelancer not afraid of dirty work... what do you think about my fresh new faction (of one person - me - currently :/ ) ?

/edit/ got an idea that might help you with the errors. Try writting the thing elswhere (I use google) and then putting it into the post and "prewiew" it. I find I can spot a lot of errors when reading through the text in different visuals then when I'm writing.

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Saw your new chapter! Loved it!
And yeah, I think that Sergei would fit, but since I am not really done with the story (which is basically a lead up to what is going to be the RP I do ingame later.
It provides me with a basis on how to roleplay him when I finally do play with him.
But got another character that could fit!

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Ah, makes sense if the story is basically a backstory. Well it's up to you really, just thought I'll share it.

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I however do have other characters and I've wanted to get a new ship or 3 (:

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Taking a little break because of writer's block.

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(10-23-2023, 10:15 AM)Serpentis Wrote: Taking a little break because of writer's block.

Ah, the writer's nemesis. Best of luck conquering it! In the meantime, why don't you come over and have some fun with the Irregulars

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